topic of the week

S U R R E N D E R

Trigger warning: this post is about addiction.

With everyone discussing ‘Friends’ star, Matthew Perry, it’s hard to escape conversations about drinking and drugs this week. A comment on social media said we do a disservice to Perry if we speak only of his battles with addiction. I agree.

So let’s not talk of battles today; let’s talk surrender.

Addicts in recovery use “surrender” a lot: surrender to a higher power, surrender your ego, surrender the idea that you’re in control, surrender your pride. I’ve had quite a few clients and friends attend twelve-step programs. Surrender is a word they use repeatedly.

We’re not talking about surrendering to illness, or giving up and giving in; we’re talking about that moment when you give yourself over.

It’s like falling in love. It takes courage to surrender everything you’ve used to barricade your heart. Many addicts have to find that courage more than once. Trying again and again, knowing how hard it can be but making the decision to try as many times as it takes? Brave.

Surrender is the ultimate act of humility. We’re not perfect, but we keep correcting.

Can’t get this U2 song out of my head. Not sure I want to, either.

In my upcoming collection of short stories and poetry, The Wisdom to Know the Difference, I have a story called “The Last Drink.” I’ll be sending it out to paid subscribers before the book is published.

(You’ll all have to wait for the time-traveling barber chair story, though. )