the kids are alright

Thinking about how Tony and I struggled to find a parenting style when we became a family. The kids were in first grade. We had very different takes, and I had more freedom as a person who was always my daughter's primary parent (even while married to my ex). I knew how I wanted to raise Rhiannon years before she was born. I studied early childhood development. I was a nanny and a preschool teacher. I wanted very specific things. Tony had fifty percent custody and someone else with different ideas to share co-parenting. We figured it out as we went along, even when I was insistent about what I wanted.

The one thing we could agree on? We wanted to be the first people our kids turned to if they needed help. Instead of, "I'm afraid of your anger and disappointment, so I'm going to avoid talking with you," we wanted, "I need to talk to you."

I'm grateful we've accomplished that. They're technically adults, but we're still the people they turn to when things shift sideways. It feels like a parenting win. We've made a million mistakes, but we got that right.